Saying goodbye is one of the most emotional parts of fostering – and no two goodbyes are ever quite the same. But over time, many foster carers come to realise something important: what stays with you isn’t the sadness of the farewell – it’s the love, the safety, and the positive memories left behind.
In this Journey of Hearts story, Origins foster carer Genevieve shares how she’s navigated the process of saying goodbye, and how even this part of fostering comes with a sense of pride in the lasting impact you're able to make as a foster carer.
“For one of my goodbyes, it was a positive,” Genevieve explains. “They’re going back to the family, and you’re staying with all the positives and staying strong for the kids”
Give yourself a few weeks, and then you’re only remembering the fact that you did the positives.
It might not be the obvious thing, but Genevieve shares that letting go of all of the involvement and input into a child's life can be the toughest part. "You don't have a say anymore," she says. "That would be the most negative part of it."
But she also reminds us: “Give yourself a few weeks, and then you’re only remembering the fact that you did the positives.”
Every fostering experience is different. Some children stay for years. Others may be with you for a shorter time before returning to their birth family or moving on.
But as Genevieve explains, even when they leave, the bond doesn’t always end.
“I still have contact with my last two boys. I get to see them – that’s amazing!”
Moments of contact like these – sharing a birthday message, getting a photo update, or simply knowing a child is doing well – remind us that love in foster care can continue, long after a child returns to their birth family.
Whether you're saying goodbye for the first time, or you're a foster carer experienced with this nuanced situation, having support on hand is essential.
That's why at Origins Foster Care, the kind of support needed to deal with situations that arise when a placement ends is built into our system. As a part of this support, all our foster carers have access to:
While the goal of foster care is reunification, it can be hard to deal with saying farewell to a child you've welcomed into your home and heart. That's why we have prepared some tips for dealing with goodbyes in foster care that will be useful for anyone considering becoming a carer or anyone who currently fosters.
Sometimes, the most surprising part of saying goodbye is the sudden change in pace. As Genevieve describes it: “During the time they were here… a lot of meetings and phone calls and organising would have been put on the carer. And then that stops. You feel like you had so much control, and suddenly, you don’t have a say anymore. That’s a hard one.”
It is hard… but would I not do it to save myself that? No. You’d have to do it. Yeah, definitely it's worth it.
It’s a powerful reminder that fostering is an immersive, emotional experience – and the silence afterward can feel heavy. But with time, space, and support, what’s left are the joyful memories and the knowledge that you made a lasting difference.
Genevieve puts it beautifully when she says: "It is hard… but would I not do it to save myself that? No. You’d have to do it. Yeah, definitely it's worth it."
Whether it’s weeks, months, or years, the time a child spends in your care truly matters. We deeply believe that it is always worth it to be able to provide a loving home to a child in need. And while saying goodbye might feel like the end, it can also be the start of something else – resilience, growth, and healing for both child and carer alike.
Looking for more inspiration from Genevieve’s experience as a foster carer? Watch another Journey of Hearts video where she speaks to the young energy that fostering can bring to the family home.
Reach out for any questions and enquiries. A member of our fostering team will get back to you as soon as possible.
