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Here at Origins, we often say foster care changes lives. But how? What actually happens inside a child’s brain when they move from fear to safety? Can everyday moments – meals at the kitchen table, a calm response to a meltdown, even play – genuinely repair trauma?
In this episode of Voices – The Origins Foster Care Podcast, I'm joined by Aoife Bairéad, social worker, therapeutic specialist and founder of Minds in Mind. With over two decades of experience in attachment and trauma-informed care, Aoife brings both science and heart to the conversation.
As Aoife explains, translating that science into everyday care begins with learning how to decode what a child is really trying to tell us.
One of the first steps in that healing journey is changing how we view a child's actions. For example, why might a child store food? Why push carers away just when things seem to be going well?
Aoife reframes these moments in a way that shifts frustration into understanding. She explains why many 'challenging behaviours' are not defiance – they are survival strategies. Once you can understand that the child is reacting to their past rather than your present, everything changes.
"Trauma responses are like riding a bike," Aoife says. "Once you learn how to do it, it is hardwired into your nervous system; you never forget."
"In my experience, what happens with trauma responses is you might learn new ways to cope, life might become safer, you might even learn how to drive a car… but then something stressful or dangerous will happen and by God, will you be back on that bike."
If understanding behaviour is the first step, how do we actively help them heal? According to Aoife, a massive part of that repair work is play.
Play isn’t a luxury. It is essential for children to learn and grow, and it is an integral part of developmental repair for children in care. We saw in last month's episode with Dr. Joanna Fortune that even justfifteen minutes of intentional, connected play can make a huge difference for a child's development and connection with their parent or carer.
In the episode, Aoife explains how in foster care, simple, intentional moments of playful connection can actually help children reclaim early experiences they may have missed in early development, like playing peek a boo or hide and seek. The impact of engaging in this type of play, even later in childhood, can be profound – emotionally, physically, and cognitively.
You've had somebody show up every day, care for you, mind you... And that alone can move you on months and years in your development that just hadn't happened before.
If you’ve ever wondered whether ordinary, consistent care can truly heal deep trauma, this conversation will challenge and reassure you in equal measure. Listen to the full episode below, on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you have space in your heart and home, and would like to find out more about fostering, we would love to hear from you. You can have a look at some of the links below to take your next step:
→ Learn more about the supports Origins provides every foster carer
→ Explore our Become a Foster Carer page to see how you can get started fostering
→ Join one of our upcoming online Fostering Info Sessions
→ Or Apply Online to Become a Foster Carer if you're ready to take the next step
Reach out for any questions and enquiries. A member of our fostering team will get back to you as soon as possible.
